Brokenness

I am writing this morning with a very heavy heart. Tears have been burning at the back of my eyes all morning and my heart is a knot of anger and sadness. Every Monday morning we have a meeting with our Philippi committee and it was at this meeting that I heard some very sad news. I want to share with you this news so that you can be praying, as I am, for Zameka.

Zameka is a 10-year-old girl who has been attending the orphan support group for quite some time now (pictured above). Though she is not an orphan (her father, Zita, is alive, but living with AIDS) she is in need of support, care, and is considered a "vulnerable child" in the community due to her family situation. This vulnerability became strikingly evident as I learned this morning that she has been recently raped multiple times by a man in his late 20's who lives down the street from them. Apparently, this man had called Zameka to his home and given her money to go and buy cigarettes for him. Upon returning from the store, he locked her in his home and raped her. From what we can gather from Zameka it sounds like this has happened about three times. It was Friday morning that Zameka's aunt discovered that this was happening (she found blood in Zameka's underwear and noticed that she was suddenly very timid and uncomfortable when bathing). Zameka tried to hide what had been happening until she finally broke down and told the truth, explaining to her aunt that this man threatened to kill her if she told anyone about what was going on between them.

I feel sick. I am so angry. This is a precious girl who I have come to love dearly and now she is so hurt and possibly scarred for life because of the actions of a selfish man. I think of her poor father who is obviously so angry. He has been crying and in his brokenness trying to figure out how to deal with the rage that consumes him. A neighbor found a gun in his home and was quick to remove it as she feared Zita was planning revenge. I think of how hurt and angry our Father in heaven must be to see his daughter being abused and scarred in this way.

Zameka's aunt has turned this man into the police and they are going to a preliminary court meeting today. The fear is that he will be released back into the community until the official trial or court hearing is scheduled. Zameka is understandably very scared. She has been to the clinic and will hopefully be receiving medication for the next month which has been shown to prevent the transmission of HIV/AIDS. We don't know the status of the man who raped her, but are concerned that he may have AIDS. Zameka will also be receiving counseling from the Red Cross.

Please pray for Zameka. Pray for her healing. Pray for her father, Zita, and that he will be able to deal with his rage in a healthy way. Pray for justice to be done in this situation. Pray for the safety of Zameka and her family as we don't know if this man will be held in custody or not. Please pray that Zameka would not be overcome with fear but would be experience the deep love of her heavenly Father and a peace that passes all understanding.

Discouragement and Hope --

It is amazing to me how many ups and downs I experience each week. I have such a sense of hope at times, then I feel knocked down by depression or discouragement. I may feel helpless and overwhelmed at times due to the immense pain and suffering in Philippi but before too long I experience a joy and peace in God as He reminds me of His sovereignty.

This Week:

Discouragement--

1. Holding little Sinoxolo at orphan support group last week and hearing her raspy breathing and seeing her lack of energy. I am so hurt and angry that she was born with AIDS and has never had a chance to live a normal, healthy, life. She didn't choose all of this, and never did anything to deserve such a painful life. It just doesn't seem fair! I get so sad (and sometimes even mad) seeing her suffer and seeing her thin frame struggling to participate in activities with the other kids. Please continue to pray for Sinoxolo's emotional and spiritual health.

2. Melikaya. "Meli" is a 14 year-old boy who has been attending our orphan support group. He is not an orphan, however. He was asked to join the group because his mom is currently dying of HIV/AIDS and it was thought that the support of the other kids would be good for him during this hard time. He has been feeling a lot of pressure lately, especially financial pressure, as he tries to sort out where money for schooling, food, and clothes will come from. His mom is obviously unable to work at this stage. Recently he approached Matthew, one of the other staff members, with tears in his eyes asking for some money for schooling. My heart just goes out to him, as no child should have to carry such weight and responsibility, especially while trying to deal with his mothers impending death. Please pray for Meli's heart and mind as he deals with such a tough situation. Please pray for the finances of this family and for wisdom and strength for Meli.

3. Break-in. Last night our "Kombi" (VW van) got broken into. We were parked at a friends house and someone broke the window of the van and attempted to remove the CD/stereo system. The alarm started going off and this must have caused the person to run. It was scary to go out and see the shattered window and the CD system pulled half-way out. Nothing else was stolen, and the window is easily replaceable, but I still felt angry and a bit scared. I guess it served as a great reminder that South Africa is not safe and I have to be more careful and aware than I would be at home. Please pray for our safety (especially as we travel in and out of Philippi)

Hope

1. Sinoxolo's smile. AIDS has not totally prevented Sinoxolo from experiencing joy and happiness. Her smile is a source of inspiration and joy in my life. This past Friday I found a huge ring of keys that lies around in the church where we meet for orphan support group. I took one of the keys from the giant key ring and gathered Sinoxolo up in my arms and pretended to be "unlocking" her from the side-- all the while purposefully tickling her with the tip of the key. We laughed together as she grabbed the keys from my hand and fought to keep me from getting them back. Eventually, she just rested in my arms and was content just laying there for about 15 minutes. She doesn't speak much English, and my Xhosa is very limited, so we didn't talk much, but yet shared a lot in that time. I was thankful for those moments with her.

2. Poetry by Melikaya. I was so touched and encouraged to read the following poem that Melikaya wrote to his mother. It is clear there is a deep love in that relationship. I praise God for that love!

Loving You Mom

"As I walked one morning
I heard people talk and talk
And never say a word
Some people look at you
And the birds begin to sing

Some people laugh and laugh
And yet you want to cry
Some people touch your hand
And love fills your heart

I'll love you Mom, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet
And the river jumps over mountains
And the birds sing hosanna

I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and the rain is dry
And the seven stars of love
Is shining like your heart."

3. God is good! I am so thankful that He is in control and that he is our ever-present and eternal HOPE in the midst of hard and discouraging situations. I am sometimes amazed at how much he cares for us. I think of the Psalmist who wrote, "Who am I that you would be mindful of me?" He created the heavens, yet cares about the smallest details and concerns in our lives. Wow!

Thank you for your continued prayers.

Love,

Jen

Going Out Into the Community

Last Wednesday was a very big day! We have been meeting with a new group of CHE's (Community Health Evangelists) for about a month now. There are 15 of these volunteers who come on Wednesday mornings and close to 30 who come on Wednesday afternoons to receive lessons on physical, emotional, and spiritual health. So, a total of about 45 volunteer CHE's have been equipped this past month with information on physical health topics such as tuberculosis, worms, and diarrhea; and spiritual lessons on developing a relationship with God, prayer, and discipleship. Last week we taught lessons on home-visiting, grief counseling, and reflective listening. These lessons were in preparation for the "sending out" into the community that is occurring this week. Each CHE was encouraged to think about surrounding shacks that they would feel comfortable visiting each week. The success of the CHE program really lies in relationship-building and the spreading of vital information through these relationships. In Philippi, stopping into a neighbors home is not at all uncommon, simply to chat or say "hi". The shacks are all so close together in this community. Now, the CHE's (who are equipped to share simple home remedies for diarrhea, ways to prevent getting worms, and how to grow in your relationship with God) are dispersing into the community! Each CHE is going to eventually be visiting 10-15 shacks per week and hopefully developing deep relationships with those living in each one of those shacks.

I am not very good at math, but even I can see the potential for overall health improvements in the community of Philippi through the CHE program. (45 trained CHE's) x (up to 15 shacks visited) = 675 shacks being visited each week by knowledgeable CHE's. Shacks in Philippi are usually quite overcrowded, packed with many people living in each one. If there are an average of 5 people living in each shack that is visited (which is a low estimate) than the 45 CHE's in Philippi have the potential to make a positive impact in 3,375 people's lives!

Please pray for the CHE volunteers this week as they begin making home visits as trained CHE's. Pray that deep relationships would be formed in the weeks and months ahead and that physical health improvements would be evident along with real spiritual growth and discipleship.