Discouragement and Hope --

It is amazing to me how many ups and downs I experience each week. I have such a sense of hope at times, then I feel knocked down by depression or discouragement. I may feel helpless and overwhelmed at times due to the immense pain and suffering in Philippi but before too long I experience a joy and peace in God as He reminds me of His sovereignty.

This Week:

Discouragement--

1. Holding little Sinoxolo at orphan support group last week and hearing her raspy breathing and seeing her lack of energy. I am so hurt and angry that she was born with AIDS and has never had a chance to live a normal, healthy, life. She didn't choose all of this, and never did anything to deserve such a painful life. It just doesn't seem fair! I get so sad (and sometimes even mad) seeing her suffer and seeing her thin frame struggling to participate in activities with the other kids. Please continue to pray for Sinoxolo's emotional and spiritual health.

2. Melikaya. "Meli" is a 14 year-old boy who has been attending our orphan support group. He is not an orphan, however. He was asked to join the group because his mom is currently dying of HIV/AIDS and it was thought that the support of the other kids would be good for him during this hard time. He has been feeling a lot of pressure lately, especially financial pressure, as he tries to sort out where money for schooling, food, and clothes will come from. His mom is obviously unable to work at this stage. Recently he approached Matthew, one of the other staff members, with tears in his eyes asking for some money for schooling. My heart just goes out to him, as no child should have to carry such weight and responsibility, especially while trying to deal with his mothers impending death. Please pray for Meli's heart and mind as he deals with such a tough situation. Please pray for the finances of this family and for wisdom and strength for Meli.

3. Break-in. Last night our "Kombi" (VW van) got broken into. We were parked at a friends house and someone broke the window of the van and attempted to remove the CD/stereo system. The alarm started going off and this must have caused the person to run. It was scary to go out and see the shattered window and the CD system pulled half-way out. Nothing else was stolen, and the window is easily replaceable, but I still felt angry and a bit scared. I guess it served as a great reminder that South Africa is not safe and I have to be more careful and aware than I would be at home. Please pray for our safety (especially as we travel in and out of Philippi)

Hope

1. Sinoxolo's smile. AIDS has not totally prevented Sinoxolo from experiencing joy and happiness. Her smile is a source of inspiration and joy in my life. This past Friday I found a huge ring of keys that lies around in the church where we meet for orphan support group. I took one of the keys from the giant key ring and gathered Sinoxolo up in my arms and pretended to be "unlocking" her from the side-- all the while purposefully tickling her with the tip of the key. We laughed together as she grabbed the keys from my hand and fought to keep me from getting them back. Eventually, she just rested in my arms and was content just laying there for about 15 minutes. She doesn't speak much English, and my Xhosa is very limited, so we didn't talk much, but yet shared a lot in that time. I was thankful for those moments with her.

2. Poetry by Melikaya. I was so touched and encouraged to read the following poem that Melikaya wrote to his mother. It is clear there is a deep love in that relationship. I praise God for that love!

Loving You Mom

"As I walked one morning
I heard people talk and talk
And never say a word
Some people look at you
And the birds begin to sing

Some people laugh and laugh
And yet you want to cry
Some people touch your hand
And love fills your heart

I'll love you Mom, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet
And the river jumps over mountains
And the birds sing hosanna

I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and the rain is dry
And the seven stars of love
Is shining like your heart."

3. God is good! I am so thankful that He is in control and that he is our ever-present and eternal HOPE in the midst of hard and discouraging situations. I am sometimes amazed at how much he cares for us. I think of the Psalmist who wrote, "Who am I that you would be mindful of me?" He created the heavens, yet cares about the smallest details and concerns in our lives. Wow!

Thank you for your continued prayers.

Love,

Jen